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Thursday, January 2, 2014

Excerpt from 'The Sexy & The Undead' by Charity Parkerson

*Erotica 18+*
Sexy Witches: Book 1 by: Charity Parkerson
      Ella flipped through the calendar, checking the date. She’d only worked at Randall’s shop for a grand total of two weeks, and she didn’t feel confident that she would hang onto the job for very long. She was perpetually late, and she had yet to find a sitter to take Freddie. He’d been to work with her each day, and it was only a matter of time before Randall became fed up by it all.
“That can’t be right,” Ella muttered to herself as she leaned closer to the calendar. Closing one eye, she tilted her head to the right in hopes of changing the date that was staring back at her. No matter how she looked at it, the numbers refused to change. She groaned. It was Valentine’s Day again.
A heartfelt sigh escaped her lips as she thought of another year alone. She would always have Freddie, unless she could break his curse, but he wasn’t always enough for her. Most of the time, Ella’s single status wasn’t an issue, but for one day a year she really wanted that special date. It was busy work being a full-fledged witch and searching for a cure for Freddie. She didn’t have time for a man in her life. She mentally assembled a list of eligible bachelors, thinking that tonight she could make an exception for one of them, but she discarded each choice. The guy at the coffee shop was cute but too short. The one at the bank had a good job, but he talked too much about himself. Randall was single, but he was her boss and she needed her job more than she needed a little fun time in the bedroom. She knew that she was, most likely, too choosy, but why waste her time on someone? After all, she wasn’t ignorant of the fact that she could be more than a little high-maintenance when she set her mind to it, but she also knew she would work hard to keep a man happy if he was worthwhile. Almost to the point of despair, her eyes landed on the row of pots hanging above her stove, and a smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. Pulling down the largest one, she set it on the stove, and turned the eye on high. Freddie lifted his head at the sound of her moving around the kitchen, but quickly went back to flipping through the set of books she’d recently purchased for him. They were boring but filled with pictures of different meat packaging plants from around the world and Freddie seemed to love them.
Ella knew that the heart of any good spell was the ingredients. All she needed to do was decide what she wanted in the perfect date and she could conjure him up herself. Jumping up and down, she let out a girly squeal as she considered the possibilities. Freddie grunted and clapped his hands once as well. It was one of his best qualities. Even though Freddie had no idea why she was so excited, he was still happy for her.
 Focusing her thoughts on her plan, she debated which quality she should deal with first. She wanted a cool man, not some dork with zero prospects. Using the first thing that came to mind, Ella dumped a pint of ice cream in the pot, since that was cool and sweet. Next, she added a pinch of spice, for obvious reasons, and a lily that she’d nicked off the grave with the huge ancient-looking angel headstone from the cemetery next door. She knew it wasn’t right to steal from a grave, but the flower was almost silver in coloration and the oddity of it called to something inside of her. She added the flower now because how else could she ensure that his eyes would end up that color? It took her a moment for her to think of anything else. Well-groomed, that was a big one as well, but the only thing she could think of to add to the mixture in order to guarantee that quality was a huge pair of toenail clippers. As she dropped them inside the bubbling potion, it turned an ominous black, signaling that it was complete. However, now that the potion was finished, she wasn’t a hundred percent sure what she should do with it. Not to mention, now that the excitement was beginning to pass, she couldn’t help but wonder if she shouldn’t wait until after she’d fixed herself up a little before conjuring up this dream man. After all, Ella really didn’t want him to see her with her hair in a ponytail and wearing last night’s pjs. While she was busy debating her next move, Freddie shuffled off down the hall before returning with a necklace dangling from his fingers. With one glance at the miniscule corked bottle that hung from a leather cord, Ella threw her arms around Freddie’s neck, hugging him tight.
“You’re a genius,” she exclaimed, accepting his gift.
With a happy grunt, Freddie settled himself back at the kitchen table with his books.
Dipping the vial into the mixture, she inserted the cork, trapping the precious drops inside before wiping off the excess with a nearby hand towel. Unfortunately, she took too much time busying herself with tying it around her neck and forgot about turning the heat down on the stove.
 Oily smoke began to roll from the pot and a hint of panic began to worm its way into Ella’s mind. She tried pulling it from the eye and waving off the fumes, but it was too late. The brew had taken on a life of its own. Backing away slowly, Ella almost made it across the room before a giant fireball shot out and blew her off her feet. Her body slammed into the wall behind her, and her head spun as the room plunged into darkness. She tried hard to stay conscious, but the blackness pulled her under. Luckily, it didn’t claim her for long as she felt someone shaking her. It took a couple of tries in order to pry her eyes open as they refused to obey her mind. Her throat burned and her stomach churned at the horrible smell that hung in the air. The smoke detector squawked loudly, reverberating off the walls and causing her head to pound even harder. She absently noted that Freddie was whimpering in the corner, but Ella’s gaze remained locked on the man attempting to keep her awake. His broad muscular chest was bare, and a long dark braid fell over one shoulder as he leaned over her. Black wings stood out from his back, blocking out the room behind him, and his silver eyes held a hint of concern as he checked her over for injuries.
“Am I dead?” Ella asked, when she could think of no other reason for an angel to be attending her needs, even if he was a dark angel.
“I do not believe so,” he answered, and his deep voice came out sounding so musical that she wanted to touch him to see if he was real. “Do you feel dead?” he asked, sounding curious.
“You have wings,” she explained. As the words left her mouth, the giant black wings disappeared from sight. Squeezing her eyes shut for a moment, Ella tried to grip ahold of reality. When she reopened her eyes, she found the same sexy man leaning over her, only now a tiny fairy stood on his shoulder staring down at her as well.
“Holy smidgeon shot, Samuel, she’s gonna have a real shiner under that left eye,” the pixie observed. The foot-tall woman was wearing an all-leather bright-orange outfit, but she seemed concerned about Ella’s well-being, and for some reason that made up for it.
“I must have really hit my head hard,” Ella noted. The pair nodded their agreement. “It hurts, so I’m going to assume that I’m not dead. I mean, you don’t hurt after death, right?” she asked.
Both the fairy and the hot stranger shrugged their shoulders while maintaining the same lost look.
Ella made a move to sit, but Freddie chose that moment to strike. She watched in horror as he snatched the pixie up and shoved her in his mouth. Tiny legs kicked out in every direction as he fought to chew, but she was too strong and wrestled to get away. Sexy Stranger sprang into action, snagging her by one ankle and jerking her from inside of Freddie’s mouth. It sounded exactly like a cork popping out of a bottle of champagne, and Freddie howled at the loss of his snack. Ella stared, transfixed, at the mysterious man. He was every bit of seven feet tall and wore only a black kilt that hung to his knees. A black tattoo of wings covered his bare back and they moved in time with the muscles that were flexing with his every motion. He was arresting. She recognized that she should make some attempt to pull herself from the floor, but she couldn’t tear her eyes away from him long enough to do anything but stare. Fortunately, a bright flash filled the room and the foot-tall pixie became a full-grown woman around five-two. She was dripping wet and looked pissed as hell. Her anger focused on Freddie and it gave Ella the drive she needed to move. Jumping to her feet, she placed herself solidly between the whimpering Freddie and the pixie bent on killing him.
“Please don’t hurt him,” Ella begged. Although the woman was shorter than she was, Ella felt sure that she also possessed a great deal of magic, and the last thing Freddie needed was another damn curse.
The pixie’s green eyes flashed dangerously and one of her wings tilted at an odd angle. “He licked me and not in the good way,” she cried, her voice becoming higher with each word.
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